It’s 2019, and it’s become increasingly harder to have an old fashioned, plain old, clear cut relationship. Between booty calls, friends with benefits, and fuck buddies, there is no such thing as clarity with the opposite sex anymore. Because let’s be honest, most college students and young 20-somethings don’t want the burden of a relationship, they just want the sex. I’d say that the most common relationship trends today are friends with benefits and fuck buddies. You might be asking yourself, well, what’s the difference? Aren’t they the same thing? No, my friend, they are far from the same thing, but how are you supposed to know? They’re both not exclusive, there’s a lot of sex involved, and it’s not a relationship…sounds like the same to me? Thankfully we’re here today to clear up the distinct differences between friends with benefits and fuck buddies one and for all.
1. The main difference is the friends part.
The biggest difference between friends with benefits and f*ck buddies is that you’re not friends with your f*ck buddy. Friends with benefits obviously means you were friends first, right? Right. Friends with benefits usually begins when two friends, close or not, either have a random, drunk hookup or just start a mutual flirtation that builds into hooking up. The main point here is that you were friends first. You guys have things in common; you hang out casually outside of the bedroom with other friends, you know at least a moderate amount about each other. On the contrary, with fuck buddies, there is no interaction besides the sex. Fuck buddies usually begins with a one night stand or a tinder match that evolves into an agreement on “sex only.” Fuck buddies don’t know each other’s majors, don’t care about what you think about Jenny, and will never see you outside of the bedroom. Well, they might see you at a bar or party, but will probably ignore you and end up texting you 20 minutes later asking to leave to fuck.
2. There’s way more at stake with friends with benefits.
When you start getting involved with friends with benefits, there’s a lot more at stake than fuck buddies. More than likely, your guys’ mutual friends will catch the wind that you’re hooking up, and will either be weirded out, or try and pressure you guys to turn into a relationship. This will put a lot more pressure on the situation than either of you probably intended, and it makes things more complicated than just sex with a friend. Not to mention, if something goes wrong, you’re basically doomed. Think about it, your friendship is ruined, and it will probably make things awkward for your mutual friends, too. You’ll end up thinking that the 7 or 8 casual hook-ups weren’t worth screwing up your friendship like this. In comparison, there’s practically nothing at stake with f*ck buddies. You don’t owe each other anything, and there’s no strings or relational dynamics tying you to one another. So, if something goes terribly wrong, or you’re simply not into it anymore, you can walk away and not have a mess to clean up.
3. You’re more likely to fall for your friend with benefits than your fuck buddy.
It’s not exactly shocking that someone is way more likely to fall for their friend with benefits than their fuck buddy. Think about it. You and this person became friends for a reason, whether it’s their personality, their sense of humor, or the amount of things you have in common. In other words, there’s some platonic connection there. So when you add sex into the mix, you’re beginning a sexual and intimate connection too, and we all know what happens when both of those connections strike a match. Sex also makes you look at someone completely differently, so you might become attracted to the friend you never considered until you hit the sack with them. Falling for your friend with benefits can either go well or really bad. You could both be feeling the same way, and decide to take a stroll down Relationship Avenue. Or, only one of you could be hit by cupid, and consequently the friendship is ruined, feelings are hurt, and everything is just too damn awkward to go back to normal. On the other hand, with f*ck buddies, you don’t have the friendship connection before you hook up. The only connection you guys have has been sexual. Don’t get me wrong, in some cases you could end up connecting on another level, but it’s not likely.
4. Friends with benefits feels more like a relationship.
Going off our points in number four, since you and your friend with benefits are connected outside of the bedroom, your time in the bedroom will feel more “relationship-like.” To put it into perspective, your friend with benefits will ask you how your day was, your fuck buddy will ask you how the sex was. Your friend with benefits knows when your birthday is, how many siblings you have, and your biggest pet peeve – your f*ck buddy only knows your favorite position. It wouldn’t be weird if you and your friend with benefits watched an entire movie before hooking up, but it would be weird with your fuck buddy. Your fuck buddy would never ask you if you’re hungry for breakfast after morning sex, but your friend with benefits would. In other words, if you’re just looking for sex and none of the fluff that could potentially come with it, stick with a fuck buddy. But if you’re looking for something a little more personal, familiar, and intimate, friends with benefits is probably more your style.
5. The biggest similarity you needn’t forget.
We’ve spent a lot of time going over the key differences between friends with benefits fuck buddies, but we need to remind you of the main similarity. Neither means exclusivity. This is especially hard to remember and potentially come to terms with in friends with benefits, but you can’t forget that at the end of the day this isn’t a relationship. Before this, you might have been thinking friends with benefits was more your style, because of the intimacy, connection, and familiarity. But all of these things can and will play against you when it comes to jealousy and coming to terms with the fact that you can see other people. This lack of exclusivity also might be making the fuck buddies option much more appealing because of the lack of previous connection. Regardless of all of this, when it comes to hooking up, each person needs to decide for themselves which option works best for them.
Need more clarification about the key differences between fuck buddies and friends with benefits? Hit me up on IG @barima_quophi_pee.